I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize