Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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