does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
