How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it because I queefed?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
