I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
