He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
