please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
barbara walters just said penis...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
