I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
