i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
