Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
