I think my fart just growled at me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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