Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The air was thick with penises
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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