You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
