So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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