I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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