wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
