No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
