The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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