She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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