found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
whose parrot is this?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
