am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
