Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
