her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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