After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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