just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
