im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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