I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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