Apparently you make a good broom.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
