porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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