epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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