yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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