Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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