so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
