yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
