3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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