she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
