Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
