The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
