Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
