Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
