I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
