Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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