See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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