I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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