Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
