singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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