i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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