like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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