Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
