then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
