And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
