She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
