Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
