But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
