do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize