How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
