yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
