cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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