Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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