Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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