but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
