I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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