Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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