I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize