Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
