Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
