I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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