I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
