I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Mom said you looked used
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Pooping to opera.
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