I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
