Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
