She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
