Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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