I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
